day went so weird :/ (go back »)

I started talking to this person about three days ago...he's deffinately cool and super honest :)

but today when he called me I felt so funny?. It was a feeling that I never had before and it felt as if life was somewhat being pulled back into me.

my world consist of fake smiles and stars that barely twinkle in my sky. things go in my world and never see the light of day ever. once you enter my world hopefully the darkness won't engulf you as a whol;e but bit by bit.

then when he calls I see a faint ray of light and don't know how it got there, desperately looking for the hole so I can quickly cover it...a faint of light so small but yet visible to the naked eye. I can't breach me no further and I must dwell in the darkness within me...its my only way of survival. I gave up on daylight when I heart keeps breaking...the darkness gave me a hand...most people mistaken the darkness as a pure evil and horrid thing, but I view it as a beautiful and mysterious thing that I would not give up.

with this being said, am i falling in love?

if so I need to crush it and spare the heartache. I need to end this feeling quickly before it spreads anywhere else, I can't afford to make a mistake again and is not willing to take a chance with my heart being broken yet again.

I need to stop this feeling , my heart isn't in condition for this anymore. I lost so many pieces of it thats its unreal and the pieces I have left are filled with hate and and as cold as it can be...he poisoned me with his ways and now i pay the price...I am no good what-so-ever and need not for my world to crumble down before me yet once again.....

what a weird day that I'm having >.<